The Waiting Game

I find myself in a state of continual limbo these days.

I feel like I’m a month over due for this baby. Mostly because I had so many signs of premature labor and we worked so hard to keep the baby in. Now that he’s been given permission to arrive- for over a week now- he seems content to stay there forever. I’m so relieved that isn’t an option. In reality, the worst case scenario is that I’d have to be like this 3 more weeks or so. That would make him a week late.
My due date is the 22nd. Oh how I hope he arrives before then. If any of you are familiar with the relay game where you carry a basketball from one end of the court to the other between your knees, I would totally beat you at that right now. I’m getting very acquainted with the penguin waddle and my children are getting the “walk” down as well.
Every day I think perhaps this is THE DAY. I mean, I’ve had contractions almost every day for a good 6-8 hours and several nights I have been unable to sleep because of them. But then just as I think perhaps we will go somewhere this time, they fade away and I find myself thinking that perhaps I just made it all up and have wasted another perfectly good day squatting, waddling, and thinking that I should wipe that last bit of dust off those bathroom shades so it won’t get the baby sick.
It would be different if I had no signs of labor at all. I think I’d have a better idea that I should wait.
Then there is the baby- this baby took forever to move. I think he was my longest yet as I didn’t start feeling him wiggle until I was over 21 weeks pregnant. But he has made up for it. Completely. In fact, I think he’s going to be an aerobics instructor. It’s his calling. It must be- either that or I see “Olympic gymnast” in his future.
In the end, there isn’t much I can do but wait, and relax, and clean, and walk, and stretch, and take naps, and herbs, and a hundred other things to prepare and help the baby snuggle down…and yet…it still remains that I must wait.

Oh…and I can’t think worth beans! That boy stole every ounce of DHA I had last week. Seriously I think I felt it get sucked out of my brain and now I feel an empty space between questions and answers, between thoughts and talking, between “Eat no carbs” and avoiding chocolate chip cookies. It has grave consequences. Well…hope he enjoys his brain power! It’ll take me months to get back what he just swiped overnight.
Thankfully, my brain doesn’t have to operate to make dinner tonight- thanks to a friend who brought beef stew, cornbread, and cherry turnovers. I’ll just have to use my brain to eat!