Saturday, September 02, 2006

Superwoman Does NOT Blubber!

It’s true, I watched a few episodes of this particular superhero when I was younger and never to I recall tears running down her face! She also doesn’t seem to loose her temper. Even in the event of a world crisis, she stays calm, collected, and rational- fighting the enemy with poise, intelligence, and strength. She can also change into some snazzy clothes by spinning around really fast, and for some reason I still find myself in need of a closet and a changing room. I say all this to point out that I came to the conclusion that I am indeed not superwoman and…while that’s ok- this is a post to declare the other side of our story- the “everything isn’t great all the time” side.

For those of you who are faithful blog readers, you will notice that I posted my last post on Wednesday. On Thursday morning, the world came crashing down around my ears and I failed to do the spinny thing, change clothes, and go defeat the evil powers that be. I waited until today to post so that it wouldn’t sound so despairing that you would be depressed afterwards, because I was helped out of the chaos also.

I always speculate about what causes such events and maybe it was the fact that I had had the children almost all by myself for an unusually long stretch- from Thursday evening until Wednesday morning. Brandon was involved in retreats, meetings, and other such business. Perhaps it was the struggles of character issues with the children as previously mentioned. It could have been that I was just tired. Some would chalk it up to: “Oh, she’s just pregnant.” Possibly, a horrific trip to town Tuesday afternoon did it, or the fact that the muffins burnt in the oven Thursday morning while I was trying to stir the eggs, flip the bacon, get Rachel out of the cupboard, and keep Jeff from getting burnt by bacon grease. Whatever it was…I lost it- and superwoman was not there to tell me how to properly deal with the situation. Since she was not there, I resorted to my childhood tactics- which my family knows all too well of yelling, name calling, slamming things around, and storming out the door. Unfortunately, I stormed out at the same time Brandon was supposed to be LEADING the 9am meeting and thus he was obliged to go put someone on the spot to lead it since he had just been stuck with the children quite unexpectedly.

I found myself sitting in the car (it’s quiet, away, and somewhat sound proof) praying and telling God all of my woes and distress. After pouring it all out, I came back inside and Brandon listened to be pour it all out again. We prayed and then that was it. I look back and my practical mind says that nothing really happened and that I didn’t get many answers for my issues- yet we did pray and somehow, that met the need all by itself. I did feel much different, nothing about my situation changed, but somewhere, something changed- and made a difference because of prayer. I still was a bit discouraged and later that afternoon I was lifted from that as well thanks to the Patch the Pirate CD in the car. The children and I were headed to a play date with some other moms and while we were riding a song came on with words something like this:

Walking on the water-
Stepping out by faith upon the sea.
Listening to my Savior,
When above the storm he calls to me
Trusting in his power
When the waves are crashing all around
Walking on the water.
Stepping out by faith.

It occurred to me that when Peter became frightened by the waves that quite possibly they were “crashing all around”. In fact it was the first time that I visualized the wave he was scared of as possibly close enough to crash ON him while he was walking. Yet Jesus said for him not to look away and to trust. Hmmm…the wave IS crashing on me and yet I am still to keep my eyes on Jesus and trust Him not to let me drown!

Somehow that met my need and I prayed again asking for help to trust even when it didn’t seem like it was the logical thing to do anymore. It met the need and while things aren’t espcially different, having a different attitude changes all sorts of things.

So, I did have a bad day- or a bad morning- a REALLY bad morning, but Jesus got me through it to the other side and I am trusting that he will continue to do things like that.

Besides if I were Superwoman- I wouldn’t need God and that doesn’t sound appealing in the least! Hmmm…I don’t think Superwoman had clutter either, but I can work on that.


ljmax said...

Ah...and superwoman doesn't have kids.

ann said...

thank you so much for that, Mary... I needed that, for the waves are feeling a bit "crashy" around me too

melbrown said...

I bet that even superwoman had her days... they just didn't show them on TV.

But I'm glad that God isn't only around on the good, put-together days. Love and courage to you!

TripleNine said...

You have my sympathies, since I really can't give much more than that. :) Trust that days like those come few and far between.

Just got your message, thanks for calling back and letting me know.
Hadn't read this before I wrote, now I can understand how it would not stick in your head for more than thirty seconds. :)

Claire said...

Dear Mary, you're a hero(ine) even if you don't feel like one...simply because you keep going...